Why I Don't Say The "F" Word Anymore

    It has been a minute since I blogged. So, let me first start by saying, "Happy New Year"lol. How's the goal planning going? Did we manifest anything on our vision boards yet? So much has happened in the past few months, I had no time to really blog. For starters, your girl moved!!! My new place is "luxurious" lol why? It's because your girl got a washer and dryer in her unit okaaaaaaay. (IYKYK).  That in itself is top tier. I am also working on really budgeting and living with intention. I LOVE THIS FOR ME.  Being disciplined is hard lol. Speaking of discipline, I am working really hard on monitoring my words. I can curse like a sailor and I'm really trying to slow down with that because your girl is committing to reading the word and following in Christ. (A whole other blog lol). 

    2024 is my year of reinvention and rebirth. I am being super intentional about everything I do and what I tolerate. As stated previously with me trying not to curse as much, there is another "F" word I am being very mindful of not using very freely and it's "FRIEND" I know this may trigger a few people but it's true. As I have gotten older especially passed 35 lol, I have a different outlook on friendships. I use to consider everyone a friend because we had certain things in common, or we just "clicked" especially in my younger days, knowing good and well some friends were toxic, I'm pretty sure, I probably was toxic for them too smh. We live and learn. 

    To me, friendships are like a relationship or marriage. You are not just going to date or marry just any one. It's a choice and the best thing about adult friendships, is that you can CHOOSE your friendships. Whereas when you were a child, your friends were mainly in your class, neighborhood, or family friend. The choices were limited. I think the term "friend" is used too freely and here's why....

    Have you ever been knowing someone for a while, hang out, chit chat on the phone all the time etc, but you start to realize the only time YOU hear from them is when YOU call/text? Or, you are the one who always initiates the outings. I also notice this a lot, you can post pictures of them on your social media but not one picture of you is on theirs. The energy isn't matching. "The math aint mathin" make it make sense. Why are you making an effort, and it's not being reciprocated? Don't get me wrong, people do get busy and have lives, however, the friendship shouldn't be one sided. I always instill this in my girls early on because I didn't get this guidance, If someone "wanted to, they would" I'm just saying. 

        Fortunately, real life situations, exposes fake friends. I can attest to this, so I know this is very accurate. I had a few friends that were around when it was time to "club, gossip, have a good time" but when life REEEAAALLY happens.... hmmmmm "hello, anyone there?" Sadly, you will see this when you get married, have kids, losing someone, new job, lose your job, financial hardship etc and the list goes on. I have been down down and I can count on my hand how many times I went through something and a  friend has helped me. Funny thing, I don't even have to speak to these individuals daily. But, I know if I call or text, they will answer. You have to be very cautious on who is worthy enough to get the "friend" title. 

    Now, I don't want this post to be too negative lol, so kudos to you if you have a friend or friend group that are your ride or dies, It is a blessing to have that. It is not easy to keep friends if you don't do the work though. I have learned that COMMUNICATION is key. Without communication, there is nothing there.

    Hope you enjoyed this quick read. I am trying to slowly get myself back into the blogging world and shed some "selfceare/self love" insight. If this is your first time checking out my blogs, here are some older posts that might interest you.  Benefits of Practical Self Care and Self Care Tips for a Busy Mom and Wife 

Thanks For Reading!!!