Breaking cycles is VERY important to me. I want my children to have more and do more than I did. I am pretty sure that is every parent's hopes and dreams for their child(ren). Sadly, some people are so broken from their families past that it effects the families that they create. There are no perfect families and I am not going to pretend like there is. Everyone has their situation. There is a point in your life where you reflect and want to make that change. First things first, that change happens within you. What do I mean? I am saying that you must look at yourself and ask the following questions... 1) What don't I like about my current situation with family and can it be fixed? 2) What am I willing to allow and not allow?
HOW TO BREAK THE CYCLE?
ACKNOWLEDGE that there is something going on and if it's worth fixing, I say start the process of mending relationships. Sometimes, the situations can be so toxic that it is hard to even speak to that family member. If that's the case for you, I suggest acknowledging it BUT also being okay with letting go. That will be hard but just meditate and pray on it. God will be in the center of it all. Another suggestion if you fall into that situation is to jot down everything that person said or did and just read them out loud in your journal and for a few days, jot down your feelings and moods.
Breaking The Cycle With Children
What we do with our kids is tell them the truth about everything. I do not want my girls growing up thinking that the world is all peaches and cream and that things will be easy for them if they just go to school and work. My parents always instilled school as a pathway to everything and that without it, life will be hard. My parents never talked to me about racism and entrepreneurship, credit, stocks etc. Coming from an old school Haitian household, All we knew was school and church. Even with church, I felt like the church we attended was just for the money and worshipping statues and images. Thankfully, in MY parent's household, I didn't have any issues but I knew that once I created my own family, I was going to let them know that they are more than a degree or being someone's employee. My daughters are 6 and 11...They know about stocks and saving money...This new generation has nothing but entrepreneurs and I love it.
Don't Feel Bad
I am sorry to be so harsh but your family members are people too... We don't choose our family. There's family(relatives) that I don't talk with, there are some that has never met my kids and husband. Sometimes, it's best to just let some go... Especially if its messing around with your energy. If you heard your parents complain about their parents and so forth and you see the drama unfolding once again, then yes you can break it. It takes Discipline and a strong mindset. The beauty of it, is that you can create your own life without the drama and live in peace and tranquility. If you created your own family, then you can build your family the way you and your significant other wants. You got this!
Later Love Bugs,
Elizabeth Jacas
1 comment